I’m not sure I’ll post this.  I’m not sure why I am writing it.

My ex husband died today…the father of my only son.

I wondered if I should feel something more than what I do?

I suppose what I feel … is what I feel.  And I hate the word “should!”

We were so young when we married and had a baby.

We were babies ourselves…what did we know of the world?

I knew very quickly that being with him was not the life I wanted for myself or for my son.

Someone had to protect him.

I find it one of the saddest things about my life…a recurring theme.

That a child should have to be protected from the people who are supposed to protect him!

It doesn’t make sense.

I ended it quickly, but not before real pain was delivered.

To both of us.

And some people…