The other evening laundries in and around our nation’s capital, as well as those of the very finest hotels, were kept buzzing deep into the early morning hours in a feverish attempt to get all the necessary sheets laundered, starched, and ironed, in order that the many delegates to the ultra-conservative Republican Values Voters conference could appear presentable.

“One always desires to wear a freshly laundered white sheet, and in that vein, I should personally like to commend Ah Fong’s over on K Street for their excellent ironing abilities. Those chinks really can press a suit,” gushed one attendee.

The early morning seminars were well attended, especially the ones on “Should women really be allowed to vote?” “The fundamentals and mastery of the goose-step,” And the Rick Santorum-led discussion on “The link between Karl Marx and contraceptives.” The morning’s most popular seminar, the Michele Bachmann moderated “How to hide a…