October is Prevent Domestic Violence Month


Purple ribbons signify that we do not accept Domestic Violence

Purple ribbons signify that we  do not accept Domestic Violence

The NCADV or National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and it is the national leader in the effort to create and influence Federal legislation that possibly affects the lives of Domestic Violence victims and children. You can reach NCADV by calling 1-800-700=SAFE. Purple is the color for Domestic Violence.

Witnessing violence between one’s parents or caregivers is the strongest risk factor for transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next. Little girls who watch their mothers being battered and abused learn them to be victims. This is serious and so sad to see. Children who always tried to protect their mothers may end up as batterers or victims. Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew. One in four women experience Domestic Violence sometime during their lives. 85 % of Domestic Violence victims are women.

Almost 1/3 of female homicide victims that are reported to police, according to police records, are killed by an intimate partner. Less than 1/5 of victims reporting an injury from intimate partner violence sought medical treatment following the injury. If you go to the hospital for treatment, a doctor or a nurse will ask you if you have been battered. It takes bravery to tell. You are afraid of being hit, pushed, shoved, punched or killed. Statistically, more women are killed trying to get out than at any other time. 

This is why it is important to get to a shelter. There are Domestic Violence shelters where women and children can be protected.They will be fed, clothed, and given counseling and legal options. Shelters are filled with women who want to help you and women who have gone through what you have been through. Most cases of Domestic Violence are not reported to police. In 70-80% of victims who report this crime need to be treated in Urgecares or Emergency Rooms.

There is a cycle of violence and an episode of battering or abuse is followed by the hearts and flowers phase. Abusers are so sorry, they cry, they swear it will happen again, often they buy expensive gifts. If the woman doesn’t get out here, things will go along for a while and then the tensions increase. The abuser begins to call names and yell and then he will hit the woman again. This cycle can go on and on for years.  The cycle of violence must be broken to save lives. The cost of providing the health care to abused women who are beaten by their intimate partner exceeds $5.8 billion each year.

I began working in Domestic Violence in the 1970’s and there is nothing I haven’t seen. I have even served protection orders to the men who batter their partners. I wasn’t ever hit but many times I had to explain that I was a friend of the court and if they hit me it wasn’t DV, it was assault and they would receive 2 years in jail. That saved me more than once.  What is happening in homes across America, is very frightening and we must stop these tragedies. 

Abuse is found everywhere. The mailman’s wife, the pastor’s wife, the musician’s live-in girlfriend. Wives of Senators get battered, and the wives of Fortune 500 CEO’s. The perfectty calm charming man that works next to you will go home and beat his wife because dinner wasn’t on the table when he got home.  I am going to continue talking about abuse, date rape and rape within marriage for the month.

In 1994, NOW, the National Organization of Women, coordinated a march and protest in Washington DC. There were hundreds of chartered busses filled with feminists and feminist men. We had strung a clothes line up in the National Mall. Hundreds of feet of clothesline and we hung up t-shirts in memory of the moms and sisters and friends who died because they were beaten to death. We also hung up the shirts of those who survived and got out. There were thousands. Everywhere you looked was a shirt that represented a human being, a woman who had been beaten over and over or had eventually been beaten to death.

Alcohol lessens the inhibitions of the abuser and it usually ends in a terrible beating.

Alcohol lessens the inhibitions of the abuser and it usually ends in a terrible beating.

it is time to stop the Violence. You can volunteer at your local shelter. 

Women Continue to be Abused


Break the silence, protect women and children

Break the silence, protect women and children

Domestic Violence does not end because a woman is getting older

Domestic Violence does not end because a woman is getting older

While our country is being held hostage by our ineffective congress, we are still at war, teachers are still trying to teach our children, and people are hungry and homeless and women continue to be beaten and abused. They are physically beaten, broken and burned. They are still suffering from mental abuse and emotional abuse. So while almost everyone is talking and writing about the government I feel I must speak out for the women who are still and will in the future, be battered.

Statistics differ from one country to another country and between states here In America. The FBI keeps statistics on abused women and men.  5% of men are abused.  Sadly, one in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. That means you know someone who has been beaten at least once.  An estimated 1.3 million women are abused or physically assaulted each year by an intimate partner.  73 % of family violence victimizes women.  The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $ 5,8 billion each year. $4,1 billion of which goes to direct services and mental health services. Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.

There is a cycle of violence which was identified in the seventies.

There is a cycle of violence which was identified in the seventies.

In the seventies, I helped to start a shelter for battered women and children. I have seen the injuries, photographed injuries before taking women to the ER. I have listened to the stories of frightened and terrified women. I have represented them in court.  I have held crying and sometimes bleeding children. I have held them when they woke up screaming in the night.  I have worked in Domestic Violence in two states.

Money is always a problem in providing services to abused women. Funding a shelter is always a problem and a urgent need that must be met. Part of funding comes from marriage license fees. These are population based and rural areas suffer due to smaller populations. So when the United Way asks for funding during their campaign, you can donate and earmark your donation for your local domestic violence shelter.  They will also need your old bedding and towels and kitchen supplies. Clothes that women can wear to a job interview are also helpful. All of this is a charitable deduction on your taxes. Just ask for a receipt.

In other cultures, women in every country are being abused.

In other cultures, women in every country are being abused.

To receive more information, please call 1-800-934-0840 if you live in Ohio. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-safe.  This hotline is called NCADV, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.  The National Sexual Assault Hotline is 1-800-656-HOPE.

Our conversation about battering is not done.  But I hope that if you know of someone who is being abused or you think it might be what is happening, you will give these phone numbers to them. Talk to them. Tell them they are not alone and many many people care about what is happening to them.

End the abuse. Save lives and get help.

End the abuse. Save lives and get help.

5