June 15, 2016 by IdealisticRebel

Remembering the Names

I wasn’t going to publish the names…there were so many. Then I decide that they deserved to be remembered, indeed honored. Each of then was young, at the beginning of this sojourn. Careers and school waiting for each of them. The name I won’t say is the perpetrators because I don’t want to encourage those unstable minds who commit crimes so history will remember them. I am sorry that their families and friends are experiencing this overwhelming grief and sorrow. Though a widow, I can only express a tiny bit of the hell you must be suffering. I am sorry.

For those on the fence about LGBT members of society, each of these people were in school or working. Let us remember the injured also. There is a large list of people who need your healing prayers. Their doctors need prayers for steady hands, wise decisions, and an angel on their shoulder. It will take the loving hearts of many people to get the injured up and about. They may face some discrimination. Pray that people will look at them and just see an injured human being. For their families and friends, I pray for you that you will have the strength to give them all the care they will need. May people remember that you will need care also. May you be able, in time, to forgive the shooter and the NRA.

May God bless and heal you.

May your lives be surrounded

with love, harmony and peace, We live in peace and harmony

May your hearts

strengthened and goodness come

to you for the remainder of you lives.

—The Rebel

We need harmony

March 1, 2016 by IdealisticRebel

Till It Happens to You

At this year’s Oscars, Lady Gaga and a stage of Sexual Violence Survivors took a stand for all the victims, with her anthem which became the theme for the documentary “Hunting Ground” about sexual violence on college campuses.

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A Woman’s Issue

The woman in the spiked device that locks around the waist and between

the legs, with holes in it like a tea strainer

is Exhibit A.

The woman in black with a net window

to see through and a four inch

wooden peg jammed up

between her legs so she can’t be raped

is Exhibit B.

Exhibit C is the young girl

dragged into the bush by the midwifes

and made to sing while they scrape the flesh

from between her legs, then tie her thighs

till she scabs over and is called healed.

Now she can be married.

For each childbirth they’ll cut her

open, then sew her up.

Men like tight women.

The ones that die are carefully buried.

The next exhibit lies flat on her back

while eighty men a night

move through her, ten an hour.

She looks at the ceiling,listens

to the door open and close.

A bell keeps ringing

Nobody knows how she got here.

You’ll notice that what they have in common

is between the legs. Is this

why wars are fought?

Enemy territory, no man’s land,

to be entered furtively,

fenced, owned, but never surely,

scene of these desperate forays

at midnight, captures

and sticky murders, doctors’ rubber gloves

greasy with blood, flesh made inert, the surge

of your own uneasy power.

This is no museum.

Who invented the word love?

—————–Margaret Atwood, feminist author and poet

Author of the Handwife’s Tale

Margaret Atwood

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stoprape

October 5, 2015 by IdealisticRebel

New Protections for Domestic Violence Survivors

California Domestic Violence Survivors Gain New Protections

shutterstock_299238722 On October 1, the first day of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, California Gov. Jerry Brown (D) signed into law a bill granting domestic violence survivors the legal right to transfer their cell phone numbers out of accounts controlled by their abusers.

Currently, many wireless providers require account holders to grant permission to anyone wishing to transfer a number out of the account. In some cases, the two parties must be physically present together to make the transfer. Now, a survivor can move her phone number or family plan into her own name—without involving her abuser. A court must issue an order requiring the wireless provider to make the transfer.

“Victims of domestic violence must be able to use their wireless devices for their safety and to have access to emotional, financial and legal support,” said Assembly Speaker Toni Atkins (D-San Diego), author of the bill, in a press release. “With AB 1407, California will give judges and service providers the power to help individuals maintain a lifeline to life-saving resources. I thank Governor Brown for signing this important bill into law.”

The bill also grants immunity to wireless providers that transfer numbers to survivors under court order; previously, an account holder could take legal action if a number was transferred without their consent. All four major wireless providers—Sprint, Verizon, AT&T and T-Mobile—have voiced their support for the bill.

This is a critical move for survivors who may be at risk for stalking or further abuse: Wireless phone account holders can access usage data—such as numbers called and texted—and use GPS to track the cell phone user. If survivors are in control of their own accounts, that lowers their risk of being tracked by an abusive partner or ex-partner.

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September 26, 2014 by IdealisticRebel

Is it glamourous to be a victim?

These days there are two kinds of women who are victims. One is the woman who has been sexually molested. The other are women who have been in a battering situation. Both type of woman has been violated. The violation is physical and emotional and mental.

The first time a man hits a woman, she is in shock. She can’t believe this person she loves would have raised his hand and hit her. Hit her so hard her lip bled and her jaw cracked. The pain is excruciating. He is screaming at her and calling her stupid and ugly. Her mind freezes. This is a nightmare. She must be dreaming. She must. This can’t really be happening.

When a woman is a victim or rape or molestation, the man and society often try to tell her it is her own fault. She shouldn’t have been where she was, her skirt was too short, she is a tease. Violence goes with the unwanted sex. Rape is often happening at the same time as she is tied up, he talks trash to her. Rape often includes inanimate objects which can cause severe injuries that will require surgery or leave permanent injuries.

There is no perk to being victimized. None. Some women are stronger than others, they can walk away the first time they are battered. For some, the emotional abuse wrecks their self-confidence and his words begin to play over and over in her head. With time that voice is louder than the voices of the people around her.

A woman who has been raped, she knows what kinds of things that may be said about her. She was asking for it. She really wanted it. In truth, rape has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with power and control. The rapist needs that power and control to perform. Often a rapist will threaten to come back and kill her if she tells anyone. He often has a gun or a knife in his hand. So, many young women hesitate to report the rape.Some can take a month or two to find the courage and conquer the shame before they can report it.

Both types of victims feel shame, guilt and fear. Battered women live with the abuser and fear more abuse. Often, when they leave, it is in the middle of the night and they flee for their lives and the lives of their children. Many have no job skills, or access to credit. This is why battered women’s shelters are so important. It is important that shelter locations remain secret to protect the women and children who are staying there and also to protect the staff. Taxi drivers know where they are.

There is nothing to be gained by being a victim. Helping a woman to listen to her own voice and not the voice of her rapist of batterer is important but it often takes quite a while. There is no status in being raped or beaten. Society needs to remember that these women are someone’s daughters, sisters, cousins, mother and friends.

So please don’t judge. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Take in consideration that she is vulnerable and frightened. Scorn from people in her life will only increase her fear and vulnerability.

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Rape Hotline

No one wants to be raped or molested.

Survivors get a second chance.

Domestic Violence is a crime. You can’t hit another person, ever.

Domestic Violence is found in every level of society.

December 14, 2012 by IdealisticRebel

Another Day of Shock and Horror

May the angels hold all of these children and aad the fallen adults in their wings and carry them on to the arms of The Beloved

My heart is heavy today as I listen and pray for the victims, their families and friends. I pray also for the survivors and first responders.I don’t believe that I will ever forget the little boy, in fourth grade who said, “We are just glad we are alive.” I also heard a mother say,” My heart is broken into little pieces.”

This is not the blog I planned for today and yet it is the one that I need to speak about. There were also school employees who were also dead. I am beginning to hear of acts of heroism that saved further lives. This bravery speaks to the best in the human heart.

I have visited the social media today and what I read that a few people have written is as frightening as this terrible act. We must not forget that how we respond to terrible events is important to how well survivors heal and how well families and friends can begin the process of healing. It is a process and it is a journey. Having lost someone very dear to me, I understand the process they are facing.

I pray for all of the first responders to this quiet, beautiful little village. They were also brave and selfless and viewed what the rest of us will never have to witness. Thanks to all of them for their quick response.

May the energy and the light of these candles surrounds the grieving parents.

Just now, I can only think of the pain and grief of families in this small Connecticut village. I ask that many prayers be lifted up for all of those affected by this terrible event.