Tag Archives: life

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Solitude


Solitary  Holden beach, North Carolina’ Photo by Barbara Mattio

Solitude is a state of being which some people crave and some people are very uncomfortable with. There was a time in my life when solitude was difficult for me. I have always been a people person. I found though that solitude is necessary to find out who I was as a woman.  Solitude is something I enjoy now and also find to be necessary to my life. Even if everything is going well and I feel that I am in a good space, I need to spend time within. We all need to spend time alone with ourselves.  This is the purpose of spiritual retreats. Time spent in silence with yourself and time to discover the woman within. This is a journey everyone needs to make at some time in their lives.

Life today is busier than ever. Sometimes I think we are addicted to the constant hustle and bustle. We feel lost when there is nothing to do. Some feel shame if they can’t complain about how busy they are. Busy doesn’t help you to get to know yourself or others in your family. Getting to know ourselves is a project and a journey. It is a wonderful journey that leads you to meet the inner you. Solitude gives you the chance to discover what really interests you and what you may be doing to please others and not yourself.

I believe we need to know who we are to love ourselves. Loving ourselves is an important part of being a child of the Universe. As human beings,  we often don’t realize that if you don’t love yourself, you are incapable of truly loving another. Human love is given to us to teach us how to love the Divine. Divinity is in every sentient being  and it is essential for us to learn all we can about love. Not sex, not marrying well, but the love of one soul for another. This shows us how The love of Divinityexpresses its love for its creation.

The journey to finding ourselves can be the beginning of a psychological adventure story and a thrilling mystery.  Some can do this by attending a retreat of silence. Some can do it with regular meditation. Some have sold what they own and have gone to another country or area of the country to discover who they are. Away from all of the voices, telling us who we are, we can discover our true selves.

I have a nephew who walked the entire Appalacian Trail, with only what he could carry easily. I made him a medicine bag to take with him. What he discovered was the man he really was. He says it could never have happened if he hadn’t had the solitude of walking the trail. What I have seen is a young man whose life has blossomed with new adventures, new job and even marriage at 40 years of age. He just makes me smile when I think of him.

I met myself during retreats of silence. My childhood had contained experiences which I thought had changed the person I was supposed to be. What I discovered in the silence, was that I was exactly as I was when I was born. Pure white light. Not damaged. Stronger and beginning to learn to love myself.

Usually, it is a number of experiences which are uncomfortable or frightening to us which triggers a need for silence. I believe it is one of the reasons I enjoy the mountains and beach so much. I love the solitude and I love the activity. I have learned to create balance for myself in my life. I have been on a mountain top under the stars on a full moon dancing with others and I have hiked alone with my camera to document the beauty of this life.

If you are dreaming of escaping to somewhere else to find yourself, perhaps this is a gift you should give to yourself. I know that you will come back very different and yet more real and authentic in who you are as a child of the Universe. Will people think you are crazy? Perhaps. Will they ridicule you?  Many may. The richness of the inner treasure you find will be worth all of that and you will have a much stronger relationship with yourself and with The One. Life will unveil itself to you and you will know where you are to be going and how to get there. Be courageous. Be Wild. Be everything you were meant to be.

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Love and Peace Instead of War


Mother Teresa stated, ” Works of love are always works of peace.”

When and where there is God, there is peace. He/she pours their love for us and peace flows over us and within us. Divine love always pours joy and peace into our hearts. My prayer is to be led from despair to hope, from fear to trust, from hate to love, and from war to peace. Our world, our universe is Peace, Peace, Peace.

It cannot exist with war, hate and violence. Every day, we make choices about the world we create around us.

We all have the right to be at peace and happy. We were created to have this life of peace. We can each have peace in our world without causing pain or suffering to others. We each have a responsibility to use what we have been given to create peace. There is no other higher pleasure than to create peace and have that peace in your life create a ripple effect and flow out to touch others in positive ways.

We need to love one another as The One loves each of us. Accepting that love and using it to bring peace into your life will bring peace to those around you. As they feel covered and immersed in peace, it will flow out of their lives and will touch an ever larger group of people. It is a beautiful thing to see and experience.

Peace Plea

Please, protect my child.
Please, protect other mothers’ children.
Please, give me peace.
Please, give other mothers peace.
Please, give the world peace and justice.
This is the peace only you can give.”

————Karen Lavin

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My Favorite Seagull


My home town

My first seagull was Johnathan Livingston Seagull. He really is a book by Richard Bach and my copy is from 1970 and is barely holding together. So I have read it, over and over. Johnathan is a seagull who doesn’t always fit in with the flock. He also questions things and he thinks.

Here in America, we have been victims of a dumbing down of the masses. We are not supposed to think or question what the government or society is doing. We are to believe what we are told. This concept never sat well with me. I am the kind of person who, to this day, likes to question, contemplate and find out the ‘real” truth.

Johnathan was a part of his flock and sailed on the wind currents as he had been taught to do. He and his friends would soar and play and life was good, except that he wondered if there might not be something more to life. He made the decision to see is he could fly higher than what the flock usually flew. So he made the decision to start off as usual but to attempt to fly higher and higher. He had separated from the rest of the flock and decided to try to fly higher in the moonlight. He flew to a thousand feet at full power and went into a vertical dive straight down. It wasn’t perfect the first time and he had to put in a lot of hard work and use all of his strength. He would soar downward at seventy miles an hour and end up soaking wet in the ocean. He continued to climb higher and higher and to descend faster. Then he crashed and was unconsciousness.

He had hit the water at ninety miles an hour.  When he awoke he was floating on the surface of the ocean. As he floated he heard an inner voice that told him he was a limited seagull. If he had been meant to fly higher and faster, he wouldn’t be a mere seagull. He heard a voice telling him to go back to the flock and make himself fit in and stop trying to be better.

As he took off, he went to five thousand feet and he forgot his vow to himself to go back to the flock. He practiced non-stop until later in the day and he had developed his style and he was proud he had conquered his fear.

The Gull Council called for a meeting and Johnathan was called to the middle of the Council to face charges and he realized someone must have seen him practicing this morning. He was told to stand in the center for Shame. He was devastated and he was told that he was facing charges of irresponsibility and violating the dignity and tradition of the Gull family.

He improved himself and could teach the others, but his defense fell on deaf and judgmental ears. How often in life, does someone have a dream, and works, sacrifices and accomplishes his/her dream. They fight family and society and friends but make themselves and the world better.

Johnathan sadly accepted his punishment. He was Outcast. He went out a ways gliding just as a seagull is supposed to do. He was then joined by two gulls and he began to fly level and then to fly higher. They kept up with him and he asks them who they were.  He was told, ” You have learned. One school is finished, and the time has come for another to begin.”

Johnathan looked around and said, ” I’m ready.” Johnathan rose with the other two gulls and flew up into a dark sky. Johnathan found himself in heaven and his outward glowing with light just like his companions.

When he asked about Heaven they told him, “Heaven was not a place, or a time. It is being perfect.” “You will begin to touch heaven, Johnathan, in the moment that you touch perfect speed.” They further explained that flying at a certain speed was a limit. They told him that perfect speed was just being there. Being there.

What a wonderful thought for me. A woman who never was satisfied with what I was told to think and to feel. So many times my questions and realizations that events or considerations made no logical sense. There were times I thought that if I heard, ‘Just do as I say,” I would scream and I knew I would never stop. So I tried to live my life as fully as I could. I worked to make a better place and chose not to live my life according to “the rules.” I could do more and learn more and I , like Johnathan, could soar. Has it been easy? No, it hasn’t. But the inner voice of Divinity guided me every time and no, I didn’t always listen but as I grew in maturity and inner strength, I almost always do now.

“Each of us is in truth an idea of the Great Gull, and unlimited idea of freedom.”
This sentence made me realize that we are all meant to be free. We are to be free and soar to meet with Divinity and to become all that we were meant to be. With Divinity inside, nothing can stop us but ourselves. I am not talking about doing unethical or immoral things, but the things that help us to become more and live fuller than most people can even conceive of. Johnathan was told he was a thousand years ahead of his time. This is okay. We will bring the rest of humanity kicking and screaming behind us and the world will have a jump in consciousness. Perhaps, one day we can bring everyone to a life of freedom, forgiveness, joy, compassion and love for all of our fellow sentient beings.

So I share my favorite seagull whenever I can and now I share him with you. I hope you will find him as inspiring as I did.

Seagull at Myrtle Beach, South Carolina Photo by Barbara Mattio

Soaring seagull over Lake Erie Photo by Barbara Mattio

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Four More Years


While last night’s Democratic Convention was inspiring, we still have a lot of work to do. Work to get folks registered and remind them to vote. As we women know, 92 years ago we fought long and hard to earn the vote. It is a responsibility as an American citizen to vote. If you don’t vote, don’t even begin to complain about anything.

There are many issues at stake during this election. Yes, we want four more years, but not everyone does. We do need more jobs, we need to realize that this president inherited the worst economy since the Great Depression. He saved the auto industry and a lot of that money has been paid back by Detroit.

Now every women can get health insurance. Being a woman is not a pre-existing condition. Life time caps are gone and children born with serious chronic diseases will be able to receive that treatment they so desperately need.

We must remember that the Republicans took the checks and balances off of Wall Street and drove us right off of the cliff. Thanks by the way, it was so fun for average American families.

There is a spirit of sexism and racism pervading our culture that is getting worse. Hate crimes and violence are on the rise. Guns are not an answer.
These next two months are going to be very critical for our country. Instead of reality tv, let’s participate in American reality. An election that will make it or break it for the middle class and poor, for women, and for those with health issues. This election will effect someone you know or perhaps even love.

 

Don’t sit on the couch and be angry, get up and out and make a difference

Our President Barak Obama

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What Women Want


This is a subject that has inspired books and movies. It is now a huge part of our 2012 Presidential election. Now, be assured that not all women want more rights. Some are happy and content being “owned” by the significant male in their life. But for those of us who are strong. capable and passionate, we want change. We don’t want to go back to the nineteenth century and we want to move forward.

Women want to be legally equal in 2013. We are the only citizens of the United States of America who are not equal legally. We want the government and men out of our bodies. We are capable of making choices that effect our reproduction and our health.

We want people to understand that rape is not legitimate. It has nothing to do with sex. It is completely about power and control. I cite the cases of eighty-five year old women and one year old babies being raped.

We want stronger laws protecting women and men from Domestic Violence. I worked in Domestic Violence in two states for over 25 years. A women does not have to live in fear. No one has the right to verbally abuse you. No one has the right to hit, slap, punch, kick, break your jaw, threaten your life or the lives of your children. There are shelters and helplines in almost every town and in every state. Call your local police for telephone numbers to receive shelter, food, counseling, legal assistance, moral support and caring attention.
At the shelter I helped to start we had a slogan, “You can’t beat a Woman.”

We want equal pay for equal work. Women who are doing the same job as a man are currently earning $.77 for every dollar a man earns. In the 1970’s, it was $.64 for every dollar a man earned. Yes, it is an improvement but a pathetic one.

Women want the world to know that women’s work counts. If a woman chooses to stay at home with her children she is just as worthy as a woman who goes out of the home to work. And if we go out to work, our work is as meaningful as a man’s work.

Women do not want to be viewed as second class citizens. We don’t want how we look, what size we wear, or how much plastic surgery we’ve had to matter more than our character, morals and intelligence.

We want the women in every country of the world to be free from honor killings, being sold into sexual slavery, from genital mutilation. We want every child, boy or girl in the world to be able to learn to read and write and to receive the medical care they require.

We want American insurance companies not to put caps on the health costs of human beings. We want every man, women, and child to receive the medical care and medication they need, even if they aren’t in the 1%. We want insurance companies to be forced not to tell doctors what medications they can prescribe and what treatments they can order.

We want the bullying that children are suffering at the hands of classmates to end. We want schools to be free of violence and hatred. Every time a child commits suicide due to bullying, we as a society, have failed them. Our hands are also bloody.

We want people to be able to love whomever they love. Love comes from the soul and souls don’t have gender. Souls just love and that love is no less beautiful than any other.

Please feel free to add things that I have not mentioned. I am happy to have your feedback. We need to create a better life for all women on this planet. If you don’t know much about feminism and would like more information, I suggest reading, Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique, Gloria Steinem. Revolution from Within, Robin Morgan, The Burning Times. I also suggest Lenore Walker and Alice Walker, Marge Piercy and Toni Morrison.

Alice Walker, author and feminist

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An Unlived Life


A Scottish beach

At some time, really look at your bedroom. The one room in your house or apartment where you show who and what you are on the inside. Your passion, hopes and dreams are expressed. You reveal much of your deepest feelings about yourself.

It doesn’t matter if you live alone or not, a woman’s bedroom is a reflection of her inner most self. Often, we women have messy unorganized bedrooms and they are a picture of inner emotions. Often, a messy bedroom is an SOS for an unlived life. Our rooms are a haven or respite for our souls. We sleep there, and relax and read and have romance.

The definition of the purpose of the bedroom has expanded to being a secondary family room. Do you pay bills, answer, emails, iron clothes, or exercise?

We are at the turning of the cycle of life and the year. Time to rethink and resort what is important in our lives. It is time to stop being invisible and create a room for yourself that is as authentic as you are. The term ‘boudoir” turns our bedroom space into a decompression zone. A boudoir takes you to a completely new level of life. A place were we can take off the facade and be in attendance to our own thoughts and feelings.

So it is fine to have a Do Not Disturb sign on your doorknob and I encourage it. Solitude does not mean you are avoiding the family, you just deserve a few precious moments when you are focused on what you need. A chance to take a block of time to remember who you really are and what you want and where you want to go. This life of yours, is meant to be lived. Existing just doesn’t quite do it. Don’t stand still, bloom and live your life. The life you are grasping for, start making the steps to take youself there. Have a good journey!

National Museum of Art, Washington D.C., sculpture garden
Acrylic on stretched canvas by Barbara Mattio

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The Work to be Done


The language of the eyes is tears.

While I am celebrating Labor Day and it’s often forgotten beginnings, I am also looking at what is happening around the world and here to women. There are honor killings, little girls are being sold for their bodies, rape is on the rise in America as well as most other countries. Abuse is rising and I mean physical as well as emotional abuse. Women and children are dying due to Domestic Violence. Children are being molested every day. Sex offenders are being trusted to register. Not any help to the person they kidnap and molest. There are people who are kidnapping our young teens and selling them for their bodies and they are left to rot in brothels all around the world.

My point is that while we have to have positive thoughts, meditate, pray and work for peace in this world, we also have to fight to stop the treatment that women and children are experiencing here in America and around the world.

This is not a time to be silent. It is not a time to conform. This is a time to reach out a hand and help. It is time to volunteer for a shelter, a time to donate to a children’s after-school program. It is time to tell your friend that you can’t agree with her opinions. She is welcome to them but you don’t share them.

It is a time to remember the example of Martin Luther King Sr., Desmond Tutu, Nelson Mandela, John F. Kennedy, Ghandi and Rosa Parks. It is time to speak up, stand tall with dignity and remember that passive resistance freed India from being a British colony to being a country in its own right.

Positive change takes energy, passion, love, and determination. We are all capable of change and we have changed things before, it is time to do it again.

Write to your Congress people and Senators, on the state as well as the national level. Look in your communities for shelters, Rape Crisis, Planned Parenthood or youth groups. Look at what they need and find what you can do to help and make a change. We all must work to make this a better world. There are millions of women and children who need our help and need us to care.

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Mindful


 

 

 

 

 

Photo by Barbara Mattio

“Every day
I see or I hear
something
that more or less

kills me
with delight,
that leaves me like a needle

in the haystack
of light.
It is what I was born for—
to look, to listen,

to lose myself
inside this soft world—
to instruct myself
over and over
in joy,
and acclamation.
Nor am I talking
about the exceptional,

the fearful, the dreadful,
the very extravagant—
but of the ordinary,
the common, the very drab,

the daily presentations,
Oh, good scholar,
I say to myself, how can you help

but grow wise
with such teachings
as these—
the untrimmable light

of the world
the ocean’s shine,
the prayers that are made
out of grass?”
—Mary Oliver

This poem is taken from one of my favorite poetry books, “Dancing With Joy.” For me reading poetry is akin to meditation. It is slowly drawing up that long slow breath and holding it for those moments of balance, and then the slow gradual exhale. Then the energy begins to flow and you dance with the Divine.

Dancing With Joy; Photo by Barbara Mattio

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The Beauty in Your Art and Your Life


Oak Alley Plantation, NO; Acrylic on stretched canvas; By Barbara Mattio

Artists, musicians, writers, dancers, photographers, painters, sculptors and a host of other creative people often feel that there is no beauty in life and that they must create it in their art. The problem is that not all of the beauty in your life is found in your poem, sketch, song, dance, novel. There is beauty all around and it is important to really see it. “See it” with your entire being. If you miscalculate the beauty and meaning in your life, despair will follow you.

Creative people need to experience beauty and find meaning for their creative outlets and lives. We, each of us, need to see ourselves as the beauty in life. Yes, there is an entire planet of beauty around us, but there is beauty within us also.

We each need to recognize that at the end of the day, we stand with what we have created that day and we need to actually say, “I am the beauty in life.” No, it isn’t egotistical. What any artist creates will touch the hearts and minds of many. That gives us a powerful meaning to live for and with.

There will be many times you critique your work and are not happy. You didn’t quite capture that small thing that in your eyes would make it fantastic. It is fine. An artist needs a mantra and I suggest, “I am the beauty in life.” This mantra, soothes the feelings of not accomplishing enough, it soothes the sorrow of loneliness, and feelings of being insignificant. Six words to carry within you, to remind you that you are exactly who and what you are to be in this lifetime. There wasn’t a glitch in the system when you came along. You are as you are meant to be, a beautiful person who has creative talents to share that beauty with others.

There is a big difference between creating and being successful. Creating is a God-given gift that needs to be shared and enjoyed by others. Success is buying into the rigid criteria that our society dreams up. This is why creating and being a big shot “successful” person can be divided by a deep ravine.

Often when we put success first, we become bored, hate ourselves for ‘selling out” and devalue the career we are pursuing. The key here is to create and not listen to the voices who can’t comprehend what we have created. For some, there is a perfect solution of a career that we feel successful at and a second creative endeavor that gives life meaning and direction.

Every time we create, there is a new ray of hope that enters the world through your life and helps to dissipate some of the negativity that we find in the world. Our souls and hearts make a counterbalance to hatred, violence, greed and apathy. That is a lot of beauty and meaning to add to this life journey we are on.

So take a bow, if only in your mind. You are not only important but you are vital to the well-being of the 7 billion+ people inhabitating Mother Earth. So write, draw, dance, and sing, rock out in that band and create everything that Divinity has put inside of you. You really make a difference!

Utah skiing trip

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The Blessings of the Galaxies


Due to the beautiful full moon, I am up at 2 AM. I am reading and thinking about the icon which represents our feminine aspect. I was out on my front porch and we are having a tropical night. I sat to enjoy the view of the moon and the sounds of the night. I was thinking of the many centuries of humans sitting and watching the amazing celestial shows. I can almost see people looking up at the sky and being overwhelmed by the galactic show. I can see them and almost feel their amazement as they wondered and questioned the brilliant lights in their sky. How they must have created stories to explain what they saw and the reasons it existed. We still look to the sky with wonder and now scientists are finding more and more explanations and considering hypotheses not explored yet.

I believe that science fiction, Star Trek, Star Gate and Dr. Who are a genre that has lite a fire in the minds of scientists. Why not? Why not indeed. Why not have microwaves, and the speed of light, and the birth of stars, Nothing is impossible when it comes from Divinity.

” Blessing of galaxies, blessing of stars:
Great stars, small stars, red stars, blue ones.
Blessing of nebula, blessing of supernova,
Planets, satellites, asteroids, comets.

Blessing of our sun and moon, blessing of our earth,
Oceans, rivers, continents, mountain ranges
Blessing of wind and cloud, blessing of rain,
Fog bank, snowdrift, lightning and thunder.

Bless the wisdom of the holy one above us.
Bless the truth of the holy one beneath us.
Bless the love of the holy one within us.

Blessing of green plants, blessing of forests:
Cedar, douglas fir, swordfern, salal bush
Blessing of fish and birds, blessing of mammals.
Salmon, eagle, cougar, and mountain goat.

May all mankind likewise offer blessing:
Old women, young women, wise men and foolish
Blessing of youthfulness, blessing of children
Big boys. little boys, big girls and little ones.

Bless the wisdom of the holy one above us;
Bless the truth of the holy one beneath us,
Bless the love of the holy one within us.”

Chinook Psalter

“Let the heavens be reflected in the earth, Lord, that the earth may turn into heaven.” —–Hazrat Inayat Khan