The Suffering of Women


women are human beings

women are human beings

Not only do American women continue to face sexism in our country. We continue to do equal work for lesser pay. Sexual harassment is increasing and sexual crimes against women is also increasing. We continue to be the only citizens in America who are not legally equal. We are suffering because Congress is trying to regulate our bodies. Most women in America do not want men telling us what to do with our bodies. I know, to be honest, I don’t want even a husband to tell me what to do with my body. In 1972, I decided that I wanted a tubal ligation. I told my husband and then went to my doctor. He told me I would have to have my husband sign papers allowing me to have the surgery. Men have never needed permission to have a vasectomy. I felt like a child who needed parental permission. I know that women resent this requirement.

This morning I was reading about Bahrain and the torture, rape, and brutality that is being inflicted upon the women of that country. It is an awful story and I listened to women talking in videos telling of how they are suffering. In many countries, genital mutilation continues so a young woman is marriageable. No mutilation, no marriage. And the practice has been brought to America by families and they still want their daughters mutilated. I have blogged about this before and it is all done without pain medication.Little girls between ten years to fourteen years old go through this awake and without anything for pain. This is torture. Torture that has been passed down from generation to generation. Mothers holding their daughters down while the village midwife cuts her in a part of her body that is most sensitive.

The dream of equality

The dream of equality

Women are not the punching bags for the close minded and hateful in our world.  Women are people, we are equal, we are independent, and we can think for ourselves. So, I think that white males need to look within and squash their sexism, racism and elitism. That said, I don’t understand why often minority men of many nationalities that have experienced bigotry and racism, look at all women as second class citizens of whatever country they live in.

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I have written about this before and will again, it is important for everyone to understand what it is like to be a woman in this world. I know that the people who have suffered racism and /or genocide will understand how important this is for us to improve. When you talk to you friends listen and you will hear racism and sexism. Chauvinists are every where and often quote scriptures from their religions as the basis for their behavior. There is no basis except for the ugliness within them. We must love one another and we must be compassionate and understanding. Every one of us is equal to the others. That is why I say we are One Family in One World. You never can love too much. It is impossible.

Sisterhood bridges color and religion

Sisterhood bridges color and religion

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“The sexes in each species of beings…are always true equivalents–equals but not indenticals.”  —Antoinette Brown Blackwell

” There is a potential heroine in every women.”  —Jean Shinoda Bolen

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Doctor Martin Luther King Day


Martin Luther King’s I have a Dream speech – August 28, 1963

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Martin Luther King’s Final Speech “I have been to the Mountaintop” – April 3, 1968

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My respect for Dr. King and his words is enormous. I pray one day that every sentient being will understand his words and will live in the spirit of love and acceptance of everyone. I pray for the end of bigotry, and hatred. I pray that the essence of the love that moved Dr. King would invade every country and every government. Most importantly, that his essence will fill every human heart and that together we will conquer racism, sexism and all bigotry. I am so glad I lived during part of Martin Luther King’s life. May your spirit live for many millennia.

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America


With All Thy Gifts – Walt Whitman

With all thy gifts, America,
Standing secure, rapidly tending, overlooking the world,
Power, wealth, extent, vouchsafed to thee — with these and like of these vouchsafed to thee.
What if one gift thou lackest? (the ultimate human problem never solving.)
The gift of perfect women fit for thee — what if that gift of gifts thou lackest?
The towering feminine of thee? the beauty, health, completion, fit for thee?
The mothers fit for thee?

When the Founding Fathers had the idea of designing a new country, a democratic country there was much they couldn’t agree on. Their bond was a democratic country so far in concept from what they had previously lived under. They fought, argued, there was an illegal duel, but they respected each other. Hate and anger were not part of the energy that formed our country. There was slavery, women were essentially owned like property, they couldn’t agree about how big of a federal government they should create and states’ rights was an issue for many.

It is 2013. There have been many generations who have lived and died. Our government was the “great experiment” and like today it was not perfect. I love America but we have many huge problems that the Founding Fathers could not foresee. Women are still second class citizens and not legally equal. Racism flows like lava covering our country with hatred and anger which is destructive. The Founding Fathers could not  be expected to see what pulls at our country. Slavery they couldn’t come to a consensus on and thought later generations would work it out. We fought the Civil War for two reasons. One was to keep the Union whole and the second was to free the slaves.

Today racism is still huge. We have Chinese, Russians, Indians, Muslims, Buddhists, Afrikan Americans, Jews, Gypsies, Cajuns, Native Americans and Christians, and countless others. We are not all equal. We need to change this. We need to accept each other as children of the Beloved. We need to finally become what the Founding Fathers envisioned:  a government where we are all equal citizens. A country where judgement and condemnation no longer exist. A country where we live what we say. May it come soon and may we stop hurting each other. May we grow up and be respectful and accepting of all Americans.

God’s Children Include Women


Women can not be equal without legally being equal.

Women can not be equal without legally being equal.

Our world is living within a horrible hangover. In most religious communities there is something leftover from the past. It is the subordination and subjugation of women. We are striving to live in a world very different from that of our ancestors. Now this has been a cultural earthquake. Many people from different cultures are grasping to hold on, to hold on to their version of the past.  They want the past to remain immovable.  There are people who are even coerced into sexism.

The Vatican has tried to do this with Catholic nuns. American Catholic bishops consult with women to try to make them not use contraceptions. Without adequate contraceptives the size of families becomes too large to give each child the education they need to be productive members of our world.

In Israel, some state-supported Orthodox people have used physical violence. Groups of Jewish women have been praying as a group, chanting and wearing prayer shawls at the Western Wall. Jewish traditions see the Wall as the refuge of Shechinah, the Feminine Indwelling Immanent aspect of God, after the destruction of the nearby Temple.

This war on women

This war on women

We are moving into a new world, given us by God. Women and men are learning the difficult practice of dancing in God’s earthquake. Men and women need to resist the subjugation of women. Women who have tried to pray at the Western Wall are being mishandled and forced to leave the Wall because it is holy and women have no right to pray there.

In other countries, women are still participating in genital mutilation. Female midwives with the cooperation of mothers, will perform a clitorectomy and cut out the clitoris. This makes sure the child will never enjoy sex when she grows up. In some countries, the vagina is sown up to prevent her from having sex with a different man while her husband is away on business. A girl who has not had this done will not be able to marry. No one will want her. These procedures are done without anesthesia or pain medication.  These procedures make child birth more dangerous. I don’t know about everyone else but this makes me want to throw up.

Women are equal and deserve to receive equal pay for equal work. They deserve equal recognition for their work. They also deserve promotions when their work equals that of a male co-worker.

Two thirds of females in the world are illiterate.

Two thirds of females in the world are illiterate.

The majority of women in the world are considered so insignificant that it is felt they are not worth educating. They stay at home while brothers go off to schools to learn to do math and to read. This is why Oprah’s schools for girls are so important. Knowing someone believes in them helps them to believe in themselves. They know, when they are grown up they will be able to get a job in a city and save money to help their families.

God did not make a mistake when he created Eve, if you accept the story. Eve was not a secondary creation.  I think that if there was a serpent and he talked Eve into eating the forbidden fruit, then she made a choice. Adam also made a choice. When she offered the apple to Adam, he could have said no. He was responsible for his choice not to say no. Eve was not at fault. Women don’t have to carry that guilt. There is also a legend in Judiasm that Lillith was created to be Adam’s partner and she lived with him in equality. Adam complained to God and he got Eve instead.

Whatever you believe, women are equal. All human beings are equal. Where inequality remains, we will squelch it and make sure everyone is equal. Teach your daughters to be confident in themselves and your sons to respect women.

Betty is a feminist to help women receive equality

Betty Freidan is a feminist and writer who worked to help women receive equality

No Box For Me


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You go where you are free.

Our society likes us all to be conformist in how we live, what we do, ;and what we think. Even as a child I wasn’t able to do this, I couldn’t even fake it. My soul would just rebel at things like hypocrisy and injustice.

Society in every country makes demands upon its citizens that they be uniform in actions and thinking. I am not talking about good behavior versus criminal  behavior. It is as Ghandi said when he was encouraging Indian citizens to use passive resistance to obtain their freedom from the English.

My hackles go up when someone is telling a person what to think or say. I will not be put into a box all neat and orderly. This has been true since I was a child and often I paid dearly for having my own thoughts. Human beings don’t all think alike or act alike, for which I am grateful. How boring it would be if we were all the same in our actions and thinking. It is true that sometimes people just know how to push our buttons, but you are in control of how you are going to react.

Women, for instance, are treated as inferior or as second class citizens. As I have mentioned before, we still are the only American citizens who are not legally equal. Minorities continue to suffer discrimination. It is a sad fact that often a person has a bad experience, and forms a distrust of all people of that race, culture or religion.

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Living in a world of terror is frightening. However, I remember the Cold War and the drills at school where we would be told to get under our desks when the siren went off. I asked, one day, how the desks would protect us. The teacher was not pleased at all with me because the other kids heard and wanted an answer too. She didn’t have an answer.

I have Muslim friends. They are not jihadists yet every day people look at them with distrust. I was with one of my friends and we went to dinner. When the server came to our table, she was visibly uncomfortable. I started to talk to the server and to relieve the tension. It ended up fine but my friend was uncomfortable. It was shortly after 9-11 and we both understood but my heart hurt that this situation happened.

Sometimes, you can see both sides, but you must choose the ethical and morally right behaviorAs a society, we need to remember that the Divine is within all of us and to try to correct what is hypocritical and unjust.

Yes, there are evil people in the world. But they often come from severely dysfunctional families. Sometimes they are so damaged they cannot heal or are not given the opportunity. My rule for measuring this life is hypocrisy and injustice. I cannot tolerate either in my life. So there are times I have walked away from people because they were an offense to my soul.

WWII and the holocaust are examples of people who ignored their inner guidance and some even assisted the Nazis. One person whose name you are probably familiar with is Coco Chanel. She began the designer line of the House of Chanel. She collaborated with the Germans when they took Paris. People died because of her actions. But she took care of herself and her Chanel line thrives to this day.

I encourage everyone to be true to who you are and what is true in your life. If you do not betray your own soul and heart, then you will be able to trust your inner guidance to lead you to your higher good.

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If you are being your true self, you will then be the person that the Divine, The One, Adonai intended you to be in this lifetime.

Women’s words


Women's place in the world.

Women’s place in the world.

S M

I tell you, Chickadee
I am afraid of people
who cannot cry
Tears left unshed
turn to poison
in the ducts
Ask the next soldier you see
enjoying a massacre
if this is not so.
People who do not cry
are victims
of soul mutilation
Paid for in Marlboros
and trucks

Resist

Violence does not work
except for the man
who pays your salary
Who knows
if you could still weep
you would not take the job.
Alice Walker

Alice Walker, author and feminist

Alice Walker, author and feminist

The Friend

We sat across the table
he said, cut off your hands.
they are always poking at things
they might touch me.
I said yes.

Food grew cold on the table
he said, burn your body
it is not clean and smells like sex
it rubs my mind sore
I said yes.

I love you, I said,
that’s very nice, he said
I like to be loved,
that makes me very happy,
Have you cut off your hands,yet?

———————Marge Piercy

It is important for women to have a voice in their herstory.

It is important for women to have a voice in their herstory.

The Second Sex

Men have vied with one another in proclaiming that love is a woman’s supreme accomplishment. ” A woman who loves as a woman becomes only the more feminine,” says Nietsche, and Balzec; “Among the first-rate, man’s life is fame, woman’s life is love. Woman is man’w equal only when she makes her life a perpetual offering, as that of man is perpetual action.” But therein, again, is cruel deception, since what she offers, men are in no wise anxious to accept.Man had no need of the unconditional devotion he claims, nor of the idolatrous love that flatters his vanity; he accepts them only on condition that he need not satisfy the reciprocal demands these attitudes imply. He preaches to woman that she shoule give—and her gifts bore him to distraction, she is left in embarrassment with her useless offerings, her empty life. On the day when it will be possible for woman to love not in her weekness but in her strength, not to escape herself but to find herself, not to abase herself but to assert herself—on that day love will become for her, as for man, a source of life and not of mortal danger.”
excerpted, Simone de Beauvoir

The continual education of women is necessary

The continual education of women is necessary

Homes of Single women

If women will not accept mariage with subjection, not men proffer it without, there is, there can be, no alternative. The woman who will not be ruled must live without marriage. And during this transition period, wherever, for the maintenance of self-respect on the side, and education into recognition of equality on the other,single women make comfortable and attractive homes for themselves, they furnish the best and most efficient object lessons for men.    -Susan B. Anthony

Photo by Barbara Mattio

Twenty two Republicans Voted Against the Violence Against Women Act


"Sculpture

Sculpture at National Museum of Art; acrylic paints on stretched canvas; Painting by Barbara Mattio

Washington DC is a remarkable city. There are the politicians and Congress and the White House. I have gone there many times to see art museums. I love borrowed exhibits. I have also been in the mall more times than I can remember for protests and picketing for women’s and children’t rights.

Yesterday, Congress did pass the Violence Against Women Act. This is a wonderful victory for women. But don’t get too excited because there is still a war going on against women.And this piece of legislation must be ratified by Congress every five years.

We still must work to receive legal equality. We, the women of America, are the only citizens who do not have legal equality. This needs to be passed this year. There is still much discrimination against women and minorities.

Every republican voted against equal pay for equal worl

Every Republican voted against equal pay for equal work

There is a lack of respect for women in America

There is a lack of respect for women in America

I suggest that everyone looks for the voting record of your Congress people. Look at who is voting against women and children. If you have one who has voted against legislation you believe in, it is time to vote againt the Congress person in the next election.

Magnolia, Oil pastels   By Barbara Mattio

Magnolia, Oil pastels By Barbara Mattio

We can change women’s lives with our voices and our actions. We can use peaceful ways to debate and state the importance of respect for women, reproductive health concerns, education, equal pay and legal equality. Don’t leave it for someone else to stand up and tell the world our truth. We are sisters and need to stand up with and for the women of America.

Equal pay for equal work

Equal pay for equal work

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Women are Human Beings


We need to look at the lives and accomplishments of women for inspiration and understanding. Women’s lives have been written only in the last few decades. One of my passions is to read women’s diaries that they leave behind. They give us a glimpse of their heart and souls. Their dreams and passions. The cost of accomplishing a life outside of the ordinary can be steep for many women. Those who were successful have paid a dear price for the life they created.

The irony is that women follow dreams just as men do. Martin Luther King had a dream and millions of women also have dreams. Women and men need to create meaning in their lives and their communities. It is not unfeminine to reach for public power instead of settling for private power. The unfulfilled woman and man are a loss to our society because each of us has much to contribute.

Women have been conditioned to do what is expected and not what they need. Some women want to stay home and be a full-time mother. Some want careers, some want many children and some don’t want to have any children. These decisions are the ones men make every day, but women are encouraged to fit into the proper box. This is a danger for women because to deny who you are and what you are capable of accomplishing is to short change the world and ourselves

The Universe gives us all gifts and talents and I believe we are expected to use them to create meaningful lives. Women who are living in violent relationships, who are verbally humiliated and are insulted day in and day out are suffering from emotional abuse.

The abuse takes many forms. Physical and emotional and psychological abuse can wreck a woman’s self-esteem and she learns to be a victim. This is one role no living being should be in. Feminism gives voice to those who have never had a voice in their own lives and those who have lost it as they have gone through the challenges of life.

Women are not inferior and they are able to make good choices about how to live and how to follow their dreams. Women have a right to have public power and not just power in the bedroom or the kitchen. Power is the ability to take one’s place in whatever discourse is essential to action and the right to have one’s part matter.

An assertive woman who has discovered her power is not “less of a woman” than a man who has discovered and uses his own power. Many people today confuse assertiveness with aggression. They are two concepts which are not at all related. Many times assertive women are maligned by people like Rush Limbaugh when he coined the term” feminazi.”” I have never understood why men are so intimidated by an assertive woman who knows who she is and what she wants and where she is going.

Women are human and that means that we are capable, intelligent, compassionate, passionate, strong and have the right to live our lives without interference from families and government. We can choose candidates, take care of our health, make decisions about reproduction. We don’t need keepers, or a strong man guiding us. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different. You are each perfect as you are and have the right to be who you are. Don’t allow the voices around you keep you from accomplishing your dreams and touching the stars.
We are equal. And in 2013, we will make the government legalize that equality. Being different, seeing from a different perspective does not make you unfeminine, it helps you to hold your head up and straighten your back and live with the dignity that The One gave to each of us. Different is not dangerous. It is just different!

What Women Want


This is a subject that has inspired books and movies. It is now a huge part of our 2012 Presidential election. Now, be assured that not all women want more rights. Some are happy and content being “owned” by the significant male in their life. But for those of us who are strong. capable and passionate, we want change. We don’t want to go back to the nineteenth century and we want to move forward.

Women want to be legally equal in 2013. We are the only citizens of the United States of America who are not equal legally. We want the government and men out of our bodies. We are capable of making choices that effect our reproduction and our health.

We want people to understand that rape is not legitimate. It has nothing to do with sex. It is completely about power and control. I cite the cases of eighty-five year old women and one year old babies being raped.

We want stronger laws protecting women and men from Domestic Violence. I worked in Domestic Violence in two states for over 25 years. A women does not have to live in fear. No one has the right to verbally abuse you. No one has the right to hit, slap, punch, kick, break your jaw, threaten your life or the lives of your children. There are shelters and helplines in almost every town and in every state. Call your local police for telephone numbers to receive shelter, food, counseling, legal assistance, moral support and caring attention.
At the shelter I helped to start we had a slogan, “You can’t beat a Woman.”

We want equal pay for equal work. Women who are doing the same job as a man are currently earning $.77 for every dollar a man earns. In the 1970’s, it was $.64 for every dollar a man earned. Yes, it is an improvement but a pathetic one.

Women want the world to know that women’s work counts. If a woman chooses to stay at home with her children she is just as worthy as a woman who goes out of the home to work. And if we go out to work, our work is as meaningful as a man’s work.

Women do not want to be viewed as second class citizens. We don’t want how we look, what size we wear, or how much plastic surgery we’ve had to matter more than our character, morals and intelligence.

We want the women in every country of the world to be free from honor killings, being sold into sexual slavery, from genital mutilation. We want every child, boy or girl in the world to be able to learn to read and write and to receive the medical care they require.

We want American insurance companies not to put caps on the health costs of human beings. We want every man, women, and child to receive the medical care and medication they need, even if they aren’t in the 1%. We want insurance companies to be forced not to tell doctors what medications they can prescribe and what treatments they can order.

We want the bullying that children are suffering at the hands of classmates to end. We want schools to be free of violence and hatred. Every time a child commits suicide due to bullying, we as a society, have failed them. Our hands are also bloody.

We want people to be able to love whomever they love. Love comes from the soul and souls don’t have gender. Souls just love and that love is no less beautiful than any other.

Please feel free to add things that I have not mentioned. I am happy to have your feedback. We need to create a better life for all women on this planet. If you don’t know much about feminism and would like more information, I suggest reading, Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique, Gloria Steinem. Revolution from Within, Robin Morgan, The Burning Times. I also suggest Lenore Walker and Alice Walker, Marge Piercy and Toni Morrison.

Alice Walker, author and feminist

Ninety-two Years Women have had the Vote


Ninety-two years ago, the Suffragettes won the right to vote. It was a very difficult fight. Men didn’t think we could think logically and rationally. Many didn’t think we could think about anything but the price of chopped sirloin or which tablecloth to put on  the table for Sunday dinner. Women who were not married and had no children were pitied and thought of as very different even abnormal.  Women didn’t even wear pants back then. Think about trying to accomplish a day in your life with a corset, bloomers, long sleeves and a floor length skirt on. The Suffragettes also gave us the right to throw the corsets away and breath and wear pants. Tennessee was the state that gave us enough votes to win the right to vote.

Now, it is 2012 and we have the right to vote to protect our existing rights. We need to vote for the candidate who will uphold our rights that we have now and who will work to give us legal equality next year. Think about the fact that ninety-two years after we have the vote, we still are not equal.

When you gain a right such as voting, you have a responsibility to use it. Women have a responsibility to vote this year. Our votes can make a huge difference in this election and shape the future for our daughters and granddaughters. Set the example for them to become knowledgeable about all of the issues and vote according to truth. Look into the “War on Women” and find out what the predominately male white Congress is trying to take from us. Obama  supports programs that benefit women.

I urge you to use the right the Suffragettes fought and gained for us and vote in 2012. Women need to be as outspoken about what happens in this country as the men are. We can make a difference.