Stand Up and Say No With Your Vote


“Traditionally, a woman’s life was not her own; she belonged first to daddy and then to husband. Indeed, she was raised with the expectation that she would be—literally, body and soul—–someone else’s. Today, women are claiming their lives. We still choose love and intimate relationship, but not as reasons for being. We can no longer live through others. ”
——Marilyn Sewell

Well, our most disgusting Congressman is now making apologies. Medical people told him incorrect information. He is so sorry. Yet, he spoke his truth. He said what he believes to be true and his thoughts and spoken words insult and endanger all women. He apologized, what about the woman who just survived a rape and heard him with his sexist point of view. He made her feel as if she were violated once again. Like many in Congress, there are few who live what they talk. They talk very condescending about what women need. How can they understand a woman’s struggle in this life? They don’t walk in the shoes of a woman. They don’t worry about breast cancer, contraception, hysterectomies, pregnancy, labor and delivery, menopause, being treated like second class citizens.

What we should be showing them, that they have to worry about is our getting out in record numbers and voting the male and female sexists out of office. There are plenty of men of quality and women who care for women’s rights to make up a Congress that is ‘for the people and by the people’. Even if you don’t feel strongly about how the elections in the next two years will effect you, think of the younger generations of young people coming up behind us.

These young people deserve not to live in a society that is rampant with violence and where racism and sexism deny American citizens their rights. So few people have read the Constitution or the Bill of Rights. We need more than sound bites to understand what is happening in this, our country, our America.
It is tempting to turn a blind eye to the news and politics some days. If we do that though, we will end up with tyrants and dictators and women and minorities will be the ones to suffer the most. So stand up and be proud that you are a women and “Let them hear you roar!” You get one life; live it freely in control of your choices and your bodies.


silentlyheardonce's avatarsilentlyheardonce

FOR those who live in states THAT ARE NOT voter suppressed. Please make sure you know where your polling places are. The notices were sent out in Queens, NY 2-3 weeks ago. My polling place has been changed. The GOP knows that they WILL NOT WIN FAIR AND SQUARE SO THEY ARE CHEATING AND USING CHEAP TRICKS. They are betting that you will not notice the change. Go to the wrong polling place, get frustrated and not vote. DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO WIN THIS WAY. Call or go on-line to check your polling place with your local board of elections. I’m sure these changes were made to prevent the overcrowding that occurred in 2008. Just be aware.

This election campaign is disgusting. The open racism is horrible. I’ve heard people who support the GOP say they are not racist but believe POTUS is not doing a good…

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Headlines


I am writing today because of the news headlines. A specific headline that has me silently screaming with frustration, Here in American a member of our Congress gave an interview that legitimate rape does not result in pregnancy.
He further stated that the woman’s body would rid itself of the pregnancy. He commented that medical people had told him this information.

First of all, I must state that there is no such thing as legitimate rape. Absolutely none. If a man doesn’t understand the meaning of NO, it is rape and he is responsible for his actions. Without premeditation, poor Eve made a choice in the Garden of Eden to eat of the apple (or pomegranate) to gain knowledge. So it tasted good and she wandered over and offered Adam a bite. He could have said no, I won’t break the rule, forget it. What he chose was to reach out and take the apple and he took a bite. He was responsible for that choice. Eve was only responsible for her own choice.

Since this event in the garden, men have been blaming women for their bad choices. Scapegoating to avoid the responsibility and consequences of their decisions. So who gets blamed? The women.

She got raped because she had too much make-up on, or her skirt was too short, she had bedroom eyes, she gave a ‘come on ‘ smile. The list goes on ad nauseum.

Then there is the fact that rape has absolutely nothing to do with sex. It is an act not driven by desire, lust or passion. It is driven by the need for power and control. The man needs to show that woman how strong and in control he is.
This is why 86 year old women get raped. They didn’t drive this guy out of his mind with passion. But he did control her and used his power to do anything he wanted to her and her body.

Despite the thinking of many people, women can and do become pregnant as a result of rape. So in your mind, picture your mom, sister, cousin, grandmother being raped. Think about what that act of violence and control would do to their minds as well as their bodies.

This entire subject is indicative of the War on Women. It is a battle in the war. I call upon all who read my blog to talk to your friends and family about what is happening in our country to women. Inch by inch they are attempting to push us back into the submissive roles that we finally broke free of. Don’t give up your freedom or the freedom of women you know. Demand more from Congress than the unpardonable lack of bipartisan work to help the constituents who elected them.

A man who can make a statement, white, educated, misogynistic man, who has the temerity to call any rape legitimate is a self-righteous pig. Next they are going to be trying to tell us that if you aren’t legitimately raped the rapist does not have to go to court and hopefully jail.

This brings me back to our esteemed Congressman and his wisdom that he felt he needed to share with the world. Well, he did. Your answer to him should be to vote him out of office as quickly as possible. I bet that if a man were raped, which can happen, no one would be talking about it being legitimate or not.

So, a man of quality treats a woman as an equal partner. He does not belittle her, force her into having sex, slap her around, or make her feel stupid and invisible. There are many men of quality out in the world. So no woman ever needs settle for any other kind of man. We are strong, we are intelligent, we are logical and rational human beings. We can and must stand straight and with head held high, tell the misogynistic people, whether male or female, to get out of our lives and out of our bodies.

Here in America, our Presidential election is coming up. Register and get out there and vote. There is power in your vote. How you vote is private but voting is a responsibility for every citizen. When sexist people won’t listen, the way to make them hear you, is to vote them out of power. This is the only life you will have, don’t let them rob you of your rights.

Holding onto Mellow Yellow Monday as Summer Flies By


“Though many a house has sheltered me in the course of summers past, one memory serves to tie them all. It’s early afternoon and all is sweet peace. Just
a shift of the pillows sets the porch swing swaying gently–pillows covered in faded chintz with the musty scent that attests to their long winter’s nap in the shed. The book lying tented across my chest is slightly musty too, foxed with the brown spots of age, since it was left downstairs in the bookcase thirty or forty years ago. You may be sure there’s nothing in it to tax the brain: It’s a romance and Cressida and Percy are settling their futures over a game of tennis. But I shall simply revel in the pleasures of the present, listening to the burr of the lawn mower down the road, watching the hornets busy themselves with their nest, biting into the slice of lemon I’ve finished with my iced tea.

Ah, the joys of a summer place!…Making our house our own was always easy. We could add what we liked–and subtract. Sometimes we’d spend the first few hours hiding the owners’ plastic lobsters, fake fishnets, and seagull mobiles in the deep dark closet to allow a clean-sweep for our time there…Drape a Marseilles spread over the sofa, swap the lamps around, frag the softest chair into the landing that overlooks the lake–all is permissible, all is comfortable…Someone would gather a bucket of irresistible shells, as pink as the first light of morning, and scatter them along the mantelpiece. There were always tomatoes ripening in the windowsills and handfuls of berries found on country lanes. A seagull feather was dropped on the duck decoy, and wildflowers, filled every jelly glass, shedding their petals on the table…We’d line the sideboard with jars of beach plum jelly from the Ladies Beautification Committee Fair and hang a watercolor of a rose discovered at a tag sale– and consider all of it quite beautiful indeed ( if anyone had paused to look between the dashes to the tennis courts or bike rides to the beach.)”

—-Catherine Calvert
” Porch Swings, Old Novels, and Memories of
Summers Past”
The Quiet Center: Women Reflecting on Life’s
Passages from the Pages of Victoria Magazine

When I read this, my mind took me back to summer’s past. Summers spent at the family camp in the Allegheny Mountains. There was this rugged cabin. When we arrived we had to unshutter the windows and brush away cobwebs. Make the double bunk beds up in all the bedrooms. Wood needed to be cut because we cooked on a wood stove, or outside on this brick fireplace with a metal grill over the fire. All crafted by my Uncle.

There was no electricity and we used kerosene lanterns for light.. There was also no running water and we pumped the needed water with a hand pump. I can remember thinking my arm would fall off.

There was an outhouse and I painted the door one vacation. I painted a sugar bowl on the door and lettered “The Sugar Shack.” Hunters called my Uncle the next winter to compliment the art work.

I learned some lessons there that have never left me. This planet of ours is so beautiful and precious. I learned to walk the paths in the forest as quiet as a mouse. I learned to appreciate the wildflowers and learned many of their names. I learned that the most beautiful thing in the world is being on top of a mountain and looking up and seeing that huge sky lit by the heavenly lights

I learned that I was small in comparison but that I was connected to all that I could see in the night sky. It was a lot. I began learning the lesson of appreciating each individual moment. I learned the importance of them and the contentment of living in the present moment. I would look up and yesterday didn’t matter anymore, and tomorrow would never come. When it arrived it wasn’t the future, it was the present. So my journey of living in the present began on the top of a mountain and it has taken me to lakes, oceans, gulfs, bigger mountains and right now; at this moment I am here writing for you..


Tea Party Slayer's avatarTea Party Slayer

# 5. Seniors Already Have Choices:

Although Medicare is often regarded as a monolithic system, it’s actually already evolved into the type of competitive system that voucher advocates say they want. Seniors have choices about what sort of health-care coverage they desire. Medicare enrollees today may choose from an average of 24 plans, including 10 health maintenance organizations, in addition to traditional Medicare.

 

#4. Spending Measures Have Already Been Taken That Will Help Seniors:

Significant measures have already been taken to reduce the future growth of Medicare spending. Under Obamacare, the formula that governs payments to health-care providers was changed to reduce outlays significantly—about five hundred billion dollars over ten years. Their impact will be very noticeable to the benefit of seniors. Using numbers from the Congressional Budget Office, Medicare premiums, currently estimated to be 11 percent lower than private insurance premiums for the same benefit package, will be about 30 percent lower by the end of the next decade. Ironically…

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Ninety-two Years Women have had the Vote


Ninety-two years ago, the Suffragettes won the right to vote. It was a very difficult fight. Men didn’t think we could think logically and rationally. Many didn’t think we could think about anything but the price of chopped sirloin or which tablecloth to put on  the table for Sunday dinner. Women who were not married and had no children were pitied and thought of as very different even abnormal.  Women didn’t even wear pants back then. Think about trying to accomplish a day in your life with a corset, bloomers, long sleeves and a floor length skirt on. The Suffragettes also gave us the right to throw the corsets away and breath and wear pants. Tennessee was the state that gave us enough votes to win the right to vote.

Now, it is 2012 and we have the right to vote to protect our existing rights. We need to vote for the candidate who will uphold our rights that we have now and who will work to give us legal equality next year. Think about the fact that ninety-two years after we have the vote, we still are not equal.

When you gain a right such as voting, you have a responsibility to use it. Women have a responsibility to vote this year. Our votes can make a huge difference in this election and shape the future for our daughters and granddaughters. Set the example for them to become knowledgeable about all of the issues and vote according to truth. Look into the “War on Women” and find out what the predominately male white Congress is trying to take from us. Obama  supports programs that benefit women.

I urge you to use the right the Suffragettes fought and gained for us and vote in 2012. Women need to be as outspoken about what happens in this country as the men are. We can make a difference.

What Really is Right


The political season is upon us and there is much mud slinging going on. Everyone is forming opinions and hopefully will vote. I have been thinking about “What is Right?”

We have the standard laws given to Moses by G-d. The Ten Commandments are certainly a good foundation for human behavior. The problem is that you can obey the Commandments and still not live an ethical life.

Even if you live according to the ethical standards for your faith, there are areas we don’t think of as being ethical or not ethical.

Let me explain. you go to your church, temple, or mosque at the prescribed times. You tithe as you are supposed to. You give to the charity food drive and buy Girl Scout cookies when the girls come to your door. You are a good friend and you get along pretty well with your in-laws. So you have it all sewn up. Right? The after-life awaits you.

There are other things that matter but we usually gloss over them. For instance, hating someone who is a different color. We are angered and share mean-spirited jokes about those whose sexual preference is different.
We look at people who are not as well dressed as we are and smugly turn away. We are capable of walking by a homeless person on the street with averted eyes and a closed heart. Grace is said at our tables at night for the bounty of our food but we do not worry about the elderly person down the street who gets by with Meals on Wheels.

My point is just to show us that we don’t always do all we could do in our lives to live in the spirit of any of the sacred writings.

Today, across the world, there are starving children, children who will never live to be 10. There are women who can’t nurse their babies because they don’t make enough milk because they are literally starving.

People are living in refugee camps and wearing rags to cover their bodies. Here in America, more people own guns than ever and we are killing each other with abandon. Children are killing themselves because of bullying. They are being picked on supposedly because they are ‘different’, but really because it gives the bully the feeling of power and control and makes them feel superior.

I think if each of us look at the way we treat all other people, and respond to them the way any of the prophets, teachers, and gurus would, we could begin to heal our lives and our world with love. Love is the great equalizer because you begin to see others as Divinity does. Connected and part of each other.

Creating Memories


In the 1960’s, I was struggling with reality and memories. Some I wanted to remember and cherish and some I wanted to forget. I wasn’t sure that any of “this” was real. That is when I began photography. I needed to see if each moment was a moment in real time. I have now taken approximately 60,000 photos.

I have learned during my journey in this life, you need to create the memory in the moment. I often remind myself to stop and open my eyes and really see what is happening. I believe that looking through a lens at life for 32 years has given me the ability to quickly take in the details that will mean so much in the future. It is now an automatic instinct to ” see life” as I go through my days. I can not say that I do it all the time, however, I have learned to impress upon my mind, the memories I want to keep and take with my soul when I return to the source.

There are so many times in our life that because of obligations, work, children, charity work, illness we miss creating memories. When was the last time you really looked at the morning dew on your roses? When was the last time you sat on your front porch without phone or lap top and just opened your senses up to the song of the birds, the chipmunk sneaking into your garden or felt the sun on your face as you read a new book?

Intention is important in how and what we create. If we look for the goodness in life and create memories out of that goodness, we will be blessed with many beautiful and simple memories.

The memories I cherish the most are not exotic adventures or meeting a celeb. There are the fleeting seconds which I caught with my heart and mind and now they will always be mine. No one can take them away. Memories are truly the only things we can take with us when it is our time to pass over and return to cosmic consciousness.

Flying lessons, Burke Airport Photo by A. Halperin

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum Photo by Barbara Mattio

Pampering Yourself


“Self-nurture is not about being selfish. It is about self-care.”
—-Alice D. Domar PHD

Yes, I am advocating self-pampering. For men or women, small steps of pampering yourself may feel wrong or frivolous. In 2012, we run from one task to another. We race through the day giving everything little pieces of ourselves. We spend most of our lives burnt out and empty. This is not the way The One wants us to experience this life. We are drowning in deadlines, insomnia, bills, politics, stress eating and kids breaking curfew. We almost need to be long distance sprinters.

Athletes have something we do not have. They have trainers and sports medicine and adoring fans. They lack our total exhaustion, feeling unappreciated, unsatisfied with life in general. This is a sure way to lose touch with ourselves, some people don’t even know who they are. They are fractured and left with nothing to give because they have nothing left inside. Society encourages and rewards us when we ignore the signs and symptoms that we need nurturing too. Pushing through, giving it all to your team or manager ends up making us sick. Being sick just pushes the circle around again.

Pampering is recuperative. It feeds the soul. It encourages the pleasant, happy, interesting and caring person inside to come out again. Being on vacation is good because you begin to get your balance back. You regain your spontaneity and flexibility. If it is raining, you read a book. If you are tired, you take a nap. You grin more often and choose to walk instead of taking the stairs or elevator. The strident, pushy, irritable you has gone and you actually like who you are. Pampering in this spirit is essential for human beings to maintain their joy and bliss. Sometimes, you just need to turn away from the needs of the world until you have regained your balance. You are now promoting your own physical and emotional health.

 

I like to rub my temples with an essential oil, and to keep a fragrant sachet under my pillow at night. I also use a sound machine when I can’t turn off my mind and sleep much deeper and awake refreshed. So remember self-pampering is medicinal and necessary for the well-being of our lives.

Sculpture garden, Windsor, Ontario Photo by Barbara Mattio

Ignorance is not Bliss


Chautuaqua Institute, NY Photo by Barbara Mattio

Life is often confusing, distracting, overwhelming and a draining rut of work and obligations. Everyone is so busy these days and trying to get so much done. They overwhelm us and at the end of a day or a week, you find yourself without satisfaction, joy or bliss.

As women, we have so many people around who without malice drain us of our energy and sometimes our sanity. You get in bed at the end of the night and look at the book that has been sitting on the nightstand for a month. You sigh and reach for the book and read a page before you are falling asleep.
It’s the weekend and a friend calls because she really needs to talk, so no sleeping in this Saturday.

We make promises that we will be somewhere, work at this charity, to shopping with a friend and we end up feeling guilty that there are twenty other things we should be doing. Do we feel composed and happy at the end of the day? Are you feeling joy or bliss? Probably not. Our days are filled with “bliss blockers.”

We have to learn balance and how to say no. Yes, we have obligations but every time we postpone something that is healthy for ourselves and do something out of duty for others, we block bliss.

I am enclosing a list of Bliss Blockers excerpted from Romancing the Ordinary.
These are soul snatching actions that hurt us and drain us of our bliss.

Wanting what you can’t have
Not wanting what you do have

Seeing the world as hostile
Believing life is hard
Over reliance on outside circumstances to initiate change
Believing money is the answer
Believing you are unlucky
Believing that things will never change for the better

Exhaustion
Not eating well
Not exercising
Not listening to your body
Continuously finding fault with your body
Feeling unworthy of happiness, love, success
Not knowing who you are
Not know what you love
Self-loathing
Not recognizing addictive behavior patterns or dependence
Workaholism in the name of getting ahead or staying on top
of things
Perfectionism

Lack of humor
Inability to laugh at oneself
Shyness in social situations
Lack of spontaneity
Pretending that you’re more experienced than you are

Believing the world will fall apart if you’re not holding it together
Inability to ask for or receive help
Inability to be part of a time

Putting others down so you can feel superior
Not trusting your intuition
Not following your dreams
Believing other people’s second guesses are better than your first

Inability to relax
Making a promise you dread
Procrastination
Impatience
Rushing
Surrounding yourself with negativity
Remaining in toxic relationships
Lack of gratitude

Clearly these are not all of the things in life which can block bliss. The trick is to find what are your blockers and to make efforts to clear them out of your life. I think this also goes to being authentic. Self-examination is an activity we need to use at least once or twice a year to understand ourselves and to make changes we need to bring us to a place of love, joy and bliss.

“The cure for anything is saltwater, sweat, tears or the sea.”
—-Isak Dinesen

Galveston Island, Tx; Photo by Barbara Mattio