Journeys of Trust

wild violets make a lawn a spring painting


I received a text from an old friend today that made me do my “happy feet dance”.  We have been friends for 32 years.

Our lives have been closely intertwined over the years and we lived together back in the day. We have laughed, danced, cried, hugged, with abandon. Then my husband died and she was there for me in my grief. She even took me to a Rod Stewart concert for therapeutic reasons.  She helped pull me out of the black hole I landed in and never made me feel weak or lost. Then she divorced and my friend was swallowed by a quagmire that came so close to swallowing her that I was terrified. What followed were many 2-hour trips to see her and be there for her. Her journey has taken some really severe twists and turns. We meditated together and talked and cooked and then she followed her heart to Florida. It wasn’t good. We kept in contact. We talked about the perfect order of the Universe; trusting that no matter how badly things are going and look, there is an order if you trust.  Trusting is hard for those of us who have struggled and we were no different. But step after step, slowly you walk along, living on the trust and doing it better some days than others. The important thing is the intention not the struggle. Her journey has branched off again and now she is walking in sunshine and happiness. I am so thrilled to see that the dark forest she passed through is behind her and right now she sees sand and surf. Hanging in there, believing in what you hope for has brought us both to a new and unshadowed place in the road. It isn’t over, this journey, but I think it might be easier for us both the next time we have to walk in twilight and shadows. Here is to the future. 🙂

Composing a life

“I’ve dreampt in my life that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they’ve gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind.” —-Emily Bronte

There are many things which are not explained in childhood. In a sense we are all artists sculpting the shape of our lives. We improvise, we grow like a garden full of flowers, we search till we find what is beautiful to us, We look for words that convey important concepts to us. In addition, as women we have to coordinate all of this with the various cycles of our gender. Puberty, falling in love, pregnancy, relationships, child rearing, a career all impact the composition of our lives. You consider that without instruction we go into life without a map. Some of us have plans, certain plans and then life often requires a sudden revision. It is back to the easel to pull out a new canvas, add some music for the soundtrack and you can begin again to create, design and compose your life. Over and over, as many times as we need to, those who embrace life to the fullest will always find a way to leave a brilliantly designed tapestry with a soundtrack to accompany it that would leave John Williams with his mouth hanging open.

A life well composed will always be the journey and steps we take to embrace the fullness of this tremendous gift we have been given. The trick is to show gratitude for this gift by using every single moment to sculpt the very best representation of who we really are.