Violence in the Home

Family violence is not a secret and you can find it enerywhere.

Family violence is not a secret and you can find it everywhere.

I am aware that in some parts of America and in many other countries, Domestic Violence continues. As I mentioned in my last blog on abuse, about 5% of the violence occurs against men. Whether the victim is a man, a woman, or a child violence in the home is a crime. It is not a “a family matter.” It happens in every village, city, state and country. Domestic Violence spans all social-economic levels. Your pastor may be an abuser (male or female), the bartender at the corner pub, scientists, teachers, janitors, students, Senators, CEO’s, real estate agents, IRS agents.The list of possible abusers is unending.  Domestic Violence is everywhere in our society.

In the past, it was “the Silent Scream.”  Abusers were protected because if the abuse happened in the home, it was no one else’s business. Millions of American women have screamed in terror and horror in their own homes where they were supposed to be safe and secure. Tens of millions of women are not at all safe in their homes or cities. They have no way to protect themselves and since governments in most other countries are made up of men, they have no where to go, no one to advocate for them.

Children learn violence in the home.

Children learn violence in the home.

There is a cycle of violence. It was identified 35 years ago. I want to say to anyone who has been abused, no matter what the abuser says to you. YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE HIT, SLAPPED, KICKED, PUSHED, SLASHED, BURNED or any other violent act.

This woman is being abused and there is never a reason to hit another human being.

This woman is being abused and there is never a reason to hit another human being.

There is nothing that someone can do to deserve being abused. The stats on rehab for abusing men are slim.  But the women and children will often hear how sorry the abuser is and how it will never happen again. At that precise moment, it is meant, but it never lasts forever. You will be abused again. The abuser is  not really aware of what love is despite the fact that they think that they do. The personality of an abuser is obsessed with the victim and what they are really looking for is power and control. This is the reason that the abuser isolates  the victim. This is extremely important to the abuser. They do not want family members or friends to be telling the victim to leave and get help. If that happens, the abuser loses control.

Violence is not domestic.

Violence is not domestic.

The Cycle of Violence

The Cycle of Violence

In a home plagued by violence, any form of violence, the children hear and see what is happening. This is true whether they are abused or the mother is abused. They see it happening. They hear the screams, blows, crash of household items being crushed. They hear words they haven’t heard before. They hear “whore, slut, bitch, stupid, ugly, lazy, ignorant”.  This is their role model. This is what they are told is right because everyone is trying to keep a secret, at least for a while. So they think this is just what a family is and what a family does. They take all of these images and sounds with them to school and any other place they go and they think that hurting someone is normal.

True love NEVER hurts.

True love NEVER hurts.

28 thoughts on “Violence in the Home

  1. Great Post! There is enough violence in this world and does not need to happen on the home front either. I know that this is not a perfect world and it continues every minute of the day. I choose LOVE that is kind and compassionate:) Happy Tuesday

  2. All manner of things happen, even in the homes. “True love never hurts”. I love that line!

  3. Renard Moreau says:

    [ Smiles ] Violence is always the wrong approach, whereas LOVE is the right approach.

    Your article is a truthful and an informative one; thank you for posting it. I also hope that a lot of people from the WordPress community gets the opportunity to read the seriousness of this message.

  4. Jueseppi B. says:

    Reblogged this on The ObamaCrat.Com™ and commented:
    Thank you Ms. Barbara for your continued post concerning Violence Against Women. We never need to forget.

  5. pennycoho says:

    Excellent post, a survivor myself and also a former counselor to others who have faced abuse I thank you for this wonderful article. I know the stats are true, and I think many would be amazed at how huge the problem really is. Once again, I thank you, Penny L Howe, xx

  6. Papizilla says:

    Reblogged this on The Ranting Papizilla.

  7. themaskgirl says:

    I must say well said and well done. This post has surely lit fire in the hearts of the reader. ESPECIALLY IN ME. Yes i have seen domestic violence. Not in my family but in my neighborhood. Whole post, mm sorry I mustn’t use the word post rather say it a WRITTEN PROTEST.. is in itself a great one. I like the part where it is mentioned that “the domestic part doesn’t matter. violence is violence.” Yeah that’s true. the victim never understand this. And considering it a domestic matter keep on suffering. Good day —–TADA——–

  8. brendamarroy says:

    Very powerful. I will share on facebook.

  9. Excellent post. It’s amazing how frequently people end up believing they deserve the abuse. It’s also frightening how many other people when they know think the abuse victim deserves it to and did something terrible to drive the abuser to their actions. And therefore it is justified and somehow acceptable to behave in a violent abusive fashion…increasingly I see even on nights out or even just normal days in town, vicious, violent -verbally and physically women treating their men to the most horrible and tragic abuse too. Sometimes this seems worse to me because so many men feel they cannot speak about it. They deserve the same compassion and understanding, and support as women. And the respect. I hope society changes it’s attitude towards women abusing men and soon.

    • We always have acknowledged that a man can be abused. I invite you to read my blog, Abuse is a Crime.
      Women who abuse receive the same treatment in our courts as a male abuser does. No one should ever have to live with violence. Thank you for reading my work and I will check out your blog also. And especially thank you for your comment.

      • I will pop over and check your blog out, it sounds like a very good read 🙂 Life itself is proving abusive at the moment and there’s nothing I can do to stop it so I’m taking moi and my banging headache off to bed, but I will back tomorrow 🙂

      • Rest well and remember change is always coming.

      • You can say that again! Now…how do I work out how to LIKE change?!! lol 😉

      • Well, I will confess that I grew up hating change. It scared me and it was rough. I had to gradually learn that I could trust the Universe to take care of me. Not that I never had anything bad happen in my like. Trust me it did. But as you learn that good can come out of bad, you learn that you can trust God. We still do have some intense conversations–God and I. But I have made progress. Good luck to you.

  10. As a survivor, it never ceases to amaze me how easily we learn it is our fault and how long it takes us to unlearn this single harsh lesson.

  11. Maxima says:

    Reblogged this on Spiritual challenges and commented:
    Among the proposed blogs on this site – please to read this!

  12. Alastair says:

    I agree that there should never be any form of physical, sexual or emotional abuse.

    I was emotionally abused in my last relationship and my sister is physically abused by her 13 year old son.

    • she needs to go to the authorities. Her son is committing a crime. I am sorry about your abuse. I was abused as a child. I hope you have been able to do the healing work. I will be following your blog now.

      • Alastair says:

        He is on bail until 12th of March. He had already been charged once and put under a referral order. Having her son arrested and charged was one of the hardest things she has had to do. But she has to keep herself and her other son safe.

        I am sorry about what happened to you as a child. I know that it is said that are never given more than we can handle, but there are some things we should never have to handle, and that is one of them. Thank you for following my blog

  13. tersiaburger says:

    Great post. I only wish adults/parents would realise that their actions “pay forward”. There is so much sadness in our world.

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