What is in a name?


The beginning of a new year is exciting and filled with some apprehension. I am notorious for facing the new year with trepidation and glee. Yes, I realize that I sound strange. But there are reasons for both responses.

 

This year I know that if you were to draw a picture of me, you would see one funny looking woman. In 2015, I am looking forward to the possibility of adventure, new friends, new experiences and also leaving old friends, leaving the one grandchild that lives here, and leaving the culture that I love so much. It will be good, but I expect bumps along the way. If things unfold as I imagine them, we will be living in North Carolina this year. But it might be next year or not? No it is coming. An end to winter. Sixty four years on the Great Lakes is quite enough for any one. The doctors are pushing for the move because of my health. We are at the point that we are both taking steps to bring this to fruition, while trusting that the things that must happen will without our interfering. Depending on the universe in this is something I am working very hard on.

 

What I am ready for is to move, to spend more time in the sunshine. I am ready to be nearer to some of the other grandchildren. I am ready for new adventures and I am ready to be astonished.What I am not ready for is the details of making this come together like a puzzle. I dislike puzzles. So I am doing practical things, praying, believing, anticipating and dreading all at the same time. So I ask all of you, to say a prayer for my sister and I to be within the perfect order of the universe. Which brings me to:

Prayer is an Egg

 

On Resurrection Day God will say, ” What did you do with the strength and energy

your food gave you on earth? How did you use your eyes? What did you make with

your five senses while they were dimming and playing out? I gave you hands and feet

as tools for preparing the ground for planting. Did you, in the health I gave,

do the plowing?” You will not be able to stand when you hear those questions. You

will bend double, and finally acknowledge the glory. God will say “Lift

your head and answer the questions.” Your head will rise a little, then slump

again. “Look at me! Tell me what you’ve done.” You try, but you fall back flat

as a snake. “I want every detail. Say! Eventually you will be able to get to

a sitting position. “Be plain and clear. I have given you such gifts. What did

you do with them? ” You turn to the right looking to the prophets for help, as

though to say, I am stuck in the mud of my live. Help me out of this! They

will answer, those kings, “The time for belonging is past. The plow stands there in

the field. You should have used it.” Then you turn to the left, where your family

is, and they will say, “Don’t look at us! This conversation is between you and your

creator.” Then you pray the prayer that is the essence of every ritual: God,

I have no hope. I am torn to shreds. You are my first and last and only refuge.

Don’t do daily prayers like a bird pecking, moving its head up and down. Prayer is a egg.

Hatch out the total helplessness inside.”

—By Rumi

 

Both Wings Broken

 

Love draws a dagger and pulls me close.

Lock and key. Bird with both wings

 

broken. The love religion is all that’s

written here. who else would say this?

 

You open me up wide. Or you tie me

tighter. The ball waits on the field

 

to be hit again. You push me into fire

like Abraham. You pull me out like

 

Muhammed. “Which do you like better?”

you ask. All the same, if it’s your hand,

 

troubles or peace. Friends become enemies,

faithful faithless. Some knots tighten.

 

some loosen. Unruly tangle of caution and

rebellion, ropes and uncombed hair, no one

 

can tell. Then comes the sure attention

of a mother’s hand for her hurt child.”

—by Rumi

 

bjwordpressdivider

 

 

Praying at the Wailing Wall.

Praying at the Wailing Wall.

 “Hear oh Israel, the Lord is God, the Lord is One.” — most important prayer in Judiasm

 

Prayer and meditation

Prayer and meditation

 

 

 

Sandlewood prayer beads

Sandlewood prayer beads

 

 “Go in Beauty, Peace be with you, Til we meet again in the Light.”

Prayer and meditation.

Prayer and meditation.

 

 “May the long time sun shine upon you. All love surround you. And the pure light within you. Guide your way home.”

 

Prayer of Tibetan monk

Prayer of Tibetan monk

 

 “Tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath.”  —Kabir

 

Pray together to increase the power

Pray together to increase the power

 

 “Oh music, In your depths we deposit our hearts and souls.

 Thou hast taught us to see with our eyes and hear with our hearts.” —Kahil Gibran

 

Deep in prayer

Deep in prayer

 

“Flowers and bees may be different, but the honey is the same. Systems of faith may be different, but God is One.” —Rig Veda

 

Man at prayer

Man at prayer

How We Learn From Each Other


 

Yesterday, I  told you all the story of Ms. G. a teacher in the Freshman and Sophomore classes at Long Beach California. She was one of those people who came along and wanted to make a difference. She was officially an English teacher. She worried if they would like her or if she would seem too preppy to the kids. Last night I began wondering if there was a book the movie was based upon. Well, there is. Please be patient as there is a point to all of this.

 

She decided they were going to read the Diary of Anne Frank. After an incident in class, she asked who knew what the Holocaust was. Not one hand raised, not one child knew. That was when she made her decision that they would read Anne Frank. As she began to read to them, they heard familiar words, war, shooting, dying. This is when she made the suggestion that they keep a journal. She bought, out of her own money, one for each student. They could share what they wrote with her, or not. No one else would see or read them. At the end of every day she locked the cupboard that they kept the journals in. They decided, after finishing reading Anne Frank that they wanted to meet the woman, Miep Gies, who hid Anne Frank and her family during the Holocaust.

 

So their teacher Ms. G helped them do fund raisers until they had earned enough money to bring Miep Gies to California. She was a very old lady. She told them all about the Nazi’s and the horrors she had seen. She told them of the night the Gestapo came and took the hidden Jews away. How a gun was held to her head. Hiding Jews meant you were to be shot. A high price for being a compassionate, caring human being. For this reason, she was very surprised when the Gestapo left and she was still alive.

 

The kids told Miep Gies she was their hero but this gentle, kind woman looked at this classroom of Asian, African-American and Latino kids and told them they were the heroes. Thier teacher Ms. G. had told her about their journals and some of their stories. Miep Gies didn’t see a class of mixed colored kids, she saw them as brave because they knew so much of what Anne Frank had suffered and yet they went to school everyday, they learned to open their hearts to Ms. G. and the other kids. They even were beginning to trust each other. So damaged kids from every race, color and creed were beginning to understand each other and accept each other. They chose to break the cycle and make their positive experiences  a lesson for generations to come.

 

Now, the story becomes amazing. In the 1990’s, there was another little girl, named Zlata and she wrote a story. Now I own the diary and have read it. Zlata was in Kosovo and there was a war going on. Our students in Long Beach California read about a girl who wrote out her heart to survive the two years she was in the war. Her diary, quite like Anne Frank’s diary was full of the horrors of war. What human beings are capable to doing to each other. Zlata wrote to save her sanity and cope with the terrible war conditions. She feels there is a parallel between herself and the Freedom Writers because they had all been subjected to being felt that they were victims. They all understood that life brings good things and bad things. Zlata feels that it is easy to  become a victim of your circumstances and to continue to feel sad or angry. She continued to say that someone could continue  to stay angry and scared or that people could  choose to deal with injustice humanely and break the chains of negative thoughts and energies. She told the Freedom Writers that writing helps you look objectively at what is happening around us.

 

Zlata left the former Yugoslavia knowing what a bomb sounds like,what it’s like to hide from bombs in a cellar and what the absence of water feels like. She wants American kids to rise above what they have had to live through and not let the hate, violence and sadness become the focus of their lives, so they can make rich lives for themselves.

 

The Freedom Writers kept Ms. G. for their Junior and Senior years. Then they all went on to college. What they overcame and accomplished is very important and must be respected. They escaped the damage of the anger and hate that surrounded them in their neighborhoods. The seeds of hatred and fear that was beginning to grow. They stopped history from repeating itself.  Ms. G. is still teaching on the college level toda;, though divorced she has had many children and these children will never forget her. They would have remained “underachievers” if she hadn’t walked into their classroom on her first day of teaching. I encourage you all to remember this true story and the two girls who inspired a classroom of American kids to save their lives and make the world a better place for everyone to live.

 

 

A book tree, wouldn't it be wonderful!

A book tree, Wouldn’t it be wonderful!

 

She Let Go


She let go.
Without a thought or a word..
She just let go.

She let go of the fear.
She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions
Swarming around her head.

Peace of mind

Peace of mind

She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely..
Without hesitation or worry..
She just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice.
She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.

She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety
..that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations
..about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement
..and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report
..or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.

No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree…
She just let go.

There was no effort.
There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was.. and it is just that.

In the space of letting go.. she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

~ Rev. Saphire Rose
Ernest Holmes

 

The first time I was told that I needed to let go, my whole entire body screamed NO!  Me, give up control? I couldn’t do that and I was frightened. So much had happened if I wasn’t in control, I could only imagine terrifying results. I talked to my spiritual teacher and he was really cool about it and said I didn’t need to. What a relief! But as I continues to study and meditation in a blue moon I would let something tiny go. Nothing happened. Nothing positive and nothing negative. Life continued to flow and I walked the path of my life’s journey. And  s  l  o  w  l  y I began to to go of more and more. I would come up against a wall and I would say”Ok, you try. I give this to you.” Changes began to happen. I finally realized that I could let go. My spiritual teacher passed away a short time later.

My husband had died many years before so I had a lot of feelings of being alone that I had had as a child when I was abused. Some really huge things began to happen in my life. Really big and affecting my health. So I took the biggest inhalation of my life and said, Beloved, you take care of this because I can’t. There was silence. There was nothing I could do so I waited and prayed and worked really hard to trust the Divinity within. Then  one day everything turned around and there was no longer a wall anywhere. And I was blessed. The thank you that came to my lips was but a whisper, a prayer of thanksgiving. I got braver and let go more often. Things didn’t always work out as I wished but what came to my life was good. So, now I just let go and trust that what comes or doesn’t come is for my highest good. My heart is grateful to my spiritual teacher who knew me so well. Had he pushed I would have run. In those days I could run  a lot. He knew that I would be taken where I needed to go. I am so grateful now that I didn’t avoid this lesson. Nothing grand has happened except that I know the Beloved knows the big picture which I don’t and I walk my path with an occasional slight push to keep me moving.  So I recommend that you do what you are able to and I know The One will be right there with you because we never walk alone.

Cleveland Botanical Gardens. Photographed and copyright by Barbara Mattio 2009

Cleveland Botanical Gardens. Photographed and copyrighted by Barbara Mattio  2009

               

The Conection of a Promise


groupchildren

                                                                                                                        All children need to know their place in the world and to trust the people in it.

I have nine grandchildren. I am as surprised as anyone could be. One of my nine is a grandchild by marriage. I love him as much as any of the others and I quite fell in love with him when he entered our family at five. He was distrustful and a drama queen. He was nervous around people and unsure how to act in different social situations. I decided that had to change.

I have watched him a lot as time passed. I could see his strengths and weaknesses.We had some really great days together and some that left me feeling like I needed a week in bed. What he had was a good loving heart and a huge amount of kindness for someone so young.

What he lacked was self-confidence, trust and an understanding of why things happened and how to do the things he wanted to do. He could be an angel or the most tiring experience I have ever had.

I was determined that he would find his balance in life and his security. We were talking one day and I said I would do something. He looked at me with disgust and said with pure attitude, “No you won’t.” I looked at him and decided I needed to gamble on this child. I said sure I would and he asked if I would promise. I agreed to a promise and he asked for a pinky promise. We made a solemn pinky promise and I kept my promise.

The next promise was easier. Our talks about how to handle situations grew longer and less adversarial. Not only have we formed a strong bond. Pinky promises are the utmost sacred pact. He will even ask me if something someone else has told him is true and if I answer in the affirmative, he asks for a pinky promise.

So slowly but surely, he is finding out who he is and where he fits into this world. He is learning what he likes and doesn’t like. His talents are coming out like popcorn and he makes me laugh like I have never laughed.

Now, I am not sharing this story because of anything I did. I am sharing it to make the point that often we make promises without thinking about them. Promises to children, parents, friends, co-workers. Sometimes we don’t call it a promise, we agree on something. The other person is counting on us.

If we make a promise, we need to keep it and we should not make promises without thinking them through..No matter who we give our word to, it is important to keep it. It needs to be part of our character to keep our word. People notice that about others and know which people they can trust. That is an important thing in this twenty first century we live in.

Happy children at play without worries

Happy children at play without worries

Security makes a child feel free.

Security helps children feel free